on being a good mom/mum. or, wine and lovely babies bring perspective.

so today i’ve been a little bit of a witch with a capital b. i blame it a little on myself (hindsight is 20/20, right?) but mostly i blame it on the british.

now, for my british friends out there, i don’t mean you as individuals, i mean you as a country in general, and more specifically whichever governing body decided that british mother’s day would fall on the church’s mothering sunday rather than today (the american, and italian, and apparently the every other country in the world-recognized mother’s day).

i had a lovely british mother’s day in march with my husband and beautiful baby, and i tried today to remember that day. but it’s just so damn hard when all of my american friends are bragging about their lovely lovely mommies and how special/lucky/amazing/vomtastic they all are. and yes, they are all of those things. and so is my mom, of course, who celebrates the day today. it just makes it so hard to be in between the two holidays, feeling like i can only partially celebrate each of them.

so i sat sulking for awhile this afternoon, feeling like a sad, lonely, lost mummy/mommy (seriously! what am i?!) when i realized i was being stupid. i had not one, but TWO days dedicated to me and my new role in our family. i had TWO days to remember how amazing my own mother is, and how amazingly difficult it is to be a mother. i see my own mother in a new way now, and from that perspective, can appreciate what i do for s on a daily basis so much more. so instead of feeling sorry for myself and missing out with playtime with my own wonderful daughter, tonight, i splashed with her in the bath, sang to her on our bed, and read the same stories with her that my mother read to me when i was a little girl. it doesn’t matter if i got any cards or flowers today, or if everyone i know wished me a happy mother’s day. all that matters is that i recognized the special relationship i have with my mother and the little girl that made me a mother, too.

cheesy and cheesier.

madre and me.

(this vom fest is brought to you in part by p, whose swift kick up the bum inspired me to get off my bum and stop feeling sorry for myself. thanks for that.)

another family update (and more apologies)

i think sometimes i lose my writing mojo. or my precious baby decides to sleep 12 hours a night and reminds me what 8+ hours of consecutive sleep feel like and i capitalize on that shiz. one or the other. either way, sorry for the hiatus. i’m back now with a vengeance! and here’s a song for you.

that’s fort atlantic with their amazing ‘let your heart hold fast’ from my favorite episode of how i met your mother. yum.

so, what’s new in our lives?

p and i are now the proud owners of a TODDLER. and whoever coined the phrase ‘the terrible TWOS’ is a dirty, dirty liar. that crap starts as soon as your baby realizes that there is a world outside of the buggy. i swore to myself i would never be THAT MOM (ie. my mom …i wasn’t a very good baby) but this product is on the to-buy list at the moment. sometimes you just need a leash.

s is officially a social butterfly. over the past month and a bit we’ve had more than a few houseguests (p’s sister and her family, s’s godparents and their four kids, s’s other godmummy and my best friend, and my sister…not including the house full for her birthday party!) and s has had an amazing time dancing, playing, laughing, eating chocolate, blowing bubbles, dining out, and shopping.

and a few other things, in brief:

s is addicted to chocolate.

p and i saw the dalai lama.

s had not one, but TWO babysitters, and appeared to behave to some extent.

never go to the natural history museum (or any other free london attraction) during the school holidays. especially with a sick baby.

my baby rocks out to bruno mars, psy, and macklemore. i’m a bad mommy.

this summer is going to be epic. plane tickets booked to america, holiday in wales with s’s godparents paid in full, and s and i get to join p on the choir trip to germany AND on another weeklong program in london. i should probably talk to my boss.

‘no’ is the new ‘yeah’. and i do not like it.

i bought baby crocs and i don’t feel guilty.

some mummy friends and i started a book club and so far we’ve read one whole book! up next? this one! (thanks e for the inspiration!)

that’s all for now, but stay tuned for a post on the party of the year…it was a good one.

one year old

dear sophia,

happy birthday! today you celebrate the very first anniversary of your birth. this time last year you were brand new, tiny, delicate, and wonderful. daddy and i had absolutely no idea what we were doing and were terrified of breaking you, but were so excited to have you in our lives. now we can’t imagine life without you.

in the past year you’ve grown from a newborn to an infant to a baby to virtually a toddler. in some ways you’re like a completely different person, but in many ways you’re exactly the same. you’ve always been headstrong, vocal, happy, and active. now you’re an independent, walking, talking, bubbly little girl. you learn something new every day and love to explore the world around you. your smiles light up our lives and make us so happy to call ourselves your parents. you’ve achieved so much in just one year of life that we’re so excited to see what you’ll do next.

we hope you have a fantastic birthday and can’t wait for many, many more years of celebrations with you.

we love you so much!

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eleven months

dear s,

holy cow! you’re almost a year old! this time next month we’ll be celebrating your first birthday, and your official graduation from baby to toddler. well, really, you’re a toddler already. you’re my little walker now! you get better and better every day, and now you can stand up from a sitting position, cruise/run around the room while holding onto your wheelybug or the sofa, and walk half a dozen to a dozen steps confidently before falling down on your adorable little bottom. you’re a handful now, but we love (almost) every minute of it.

although you spend most of your energy on moving (and moving and moving!), you’re starting to talk a lot more, too. somehow in the last month you lost the ability to say mama, but call both of us dada instead. you still love to make animal noises, your favorite being meowing like a cat. you can also parrot our own speech, and repeat gone, bye, and yeah most of the time. you call gram gaga and like to chat to your kitty when you’re falling asleep. i can’t wait for you to start talking even more!

your social skills are developing quickly and you love to play with (read: climb on) other babies and older kids. every week we go to kindermusik class with a mixed age range of kids. we also meet up with some friends who have babies at restaurants, the library, and cafes. this weekend you went to your first birthday party! i can’t believe the other babies in our nct class are starting to turn one. it’s your turn soon!!!

we’re starting the process of moving you to your own room by napping you in your nursery, and so far you’re doing remarkably well. you generally sleep from 7pm to 5 or 6am, but lately you’ve been getting up at 4 thinking it’s playtime. please, s, give us a little more sleep! you still take two naps most days, but i think before too long you’ll drop one or the other. take your time! really, it’s ok to sleep lots!

you’re a champion eater, having three full meals and one or two snacks a day. you’re almost competent with your sippy cup, but don’t really understand that a cup without a lid will spill if you bash it and throw it around. you’ve decided you don’t like cucumber very much any more, but love cheese, bread, hummus (the piri piri kind!), and anything starchy. you also like peas, blueberries, fromage frais, and weetabix. you’re happy to explore new flavors but let us know when you don’t like something, either by making a face and spitting it out or sweeping everything off the table and flipping over your plate and mat.

you only take milk from me in the morning and at night time, and sometimes once during the day, but you’re more interested in grown up food and need me less and less. but that’s a good thing, because instead you’re becoming a cuddly bunny who likes to lie on top of us while we scratch or rub your back. like father, like daughter! you also love to give and blow kisses and laugh all the time.

thankfully you still love to read. you sit so nicely with daddy while he reads to you and even read yourself stories in your crib while we get ready in the morning. your favorite books are the touchy feely ones because you really like to be involved in the reading.

thanks for being such a fabulous baby for the last eleven months. and happy almost birthday!!!

love you! <3

happy eleven months!

family update time

it’s been kind of an epic week for this little family. mostly for s.

we officially have a walker!

also, apparently walking = becoming a teenager.

it really is the beginning of the end now, isn’t it?!

in other news, i successfully completed a day (okay, four hours) of ‘keeping in touch’ work at the bux without crying or breaking down at all. it was actually kind of nice being out of the house for awhile without pushing a pushchair or worrying whether s was too hot, too cold, poopy, hungry, or tired. it was also nice knowing that p and s were spending some quality time together. i’ll be back for good one day a week in just a few weeks’ time, so i’d better be ready!

as of today, i’ve also completed two weeks on weight watchers. two weeks in and ten pounds down! thank goodness for lots of water, cucumbers, and ww snacks (mostly of the chocolate variety). i know weight loss typically slows down after the first few weeks, so i’m determined to keep on track and not to cheat myself out of anything. i WILL lose this baby weight (shhh, i know it’s been awhile, but i still like to call it baby weight. it makes me feel better).

p is back at work and it’s in full swing, so there are three or four nights a week when s and i do dinner and bedtime alone. it’s not always fun (as evidenced by the temper tantrum above) and it’s seriously testing my skills as a SAHM, but we’re getting there. plus, it’s kind of nice to spend the evening vegging out and playing on the computer (read: blog) without feeling like i’m neglecting the hubs.

speaking of alone time with s, we are officially enrolled in a kindermusik family time class for the next 12 weeks. s is kind of a bully compared to the other babies, since she thinks that slapping and climbing up on children is a perfectly acceptable form of social interaction, but the teacher assures me that it will all be okay and that s will enjoy it. i’m looking forward to it, too!

and finally, plans are coming along for s’s first birthday party in march. we’re just about to set a date and have decided on photography, (cup)cakes, and decorations. i’m sure i’m far more excited than i should be, but you only turn one once!

and now for a little bit of adorable, just to make up for the naughty baby face above.

first birthday prep (or how to plan a frat party with babies)

in less than two months, s will be celebrating her first (and most badass?!) birthday. it’s equal parts exciting and depressing for us to plan. exciting because our baby is almost almost almost officially a toddler and we get to celebrate the wonderful ways she’s changed our lives over the past year. depressing because, as cool as we make this party, she won’t remember it.

so there will be booze.

Source: 100layercake.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

obviously. because otherwise it’s just a silly afternoon where a bunch of parents wish they’d smuggled in their flasks of whiskey while their respective babies crawl and scream and cry and poop all over each other. just like every other day, really. just kidding. mostly. in all seriousness, i really want this party to be laid back and fun for kids and adults alike. so there will be beer. and tequila. if you know me, you know that one of my mantras in life is this: EVERYTHING is better with tequila. so there will be beer with tequila (desperados, anyone?!), cupcakes with tequila (for the grownups only, no need to call the authorities!), and, since i’m a little old fashioned, tequila with tequila.

**note: i am not an alcoholic. in fact, after approximately two drinks these days i am done for the night. so obviously most of this is a joke and does not affect the parenting of our beautiful child, who i’m sure will enjoy tequila just as much as me when she’s all grown up. and not before then. i’m sure she’ll be as innocent as a flower until her 21st birthday (please just let me live with this delusion for awhile).

and there will be cake.

Source: 100layercake.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

we’re still ironing out details for this aspect of the party, but i found a fantastic local bakery two little cats that’s happy to provide a smash cake for s’s photo shoot (surprise! oops) as well as cupcakes for the party. i thought two smash cakes might be a bit extravagant (read: paul thought) so we will have to settle for adorable photos of s smashing a cupcake into her face during the party. on the menu for the cupcakes: raspberry and lime flavored with lime green sugar sprinklings and fresh raspberries on top. yum. as for the smash cake, i’m hoping it’s going to look like this fabulous cake above!

there will be decorations.

Source: hapykoi.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest




Source: indulgy.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest




Source: plentyofcolour.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest




Source: 100layercake.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest

i toyed with the idea of having a very hungry caterpillar theme for this party, but decided instead to go with bright colors and more basic decorations. i especially love the ideas from 100 layer cake!

and there will be presents.

Source: amazon.co.uk via Kaitlin on Pinterest




Source: shak-shuka.com via Kaitlin on Pinterest




Source: amazon.co.uk via Kaitlin on Pinterest

since march is fairly close to christmas, and since my house already seems to be a toy factory, we’re planning on keeping gifts pretty minimal this year. what i would love for her to get, however, is a few musical instruments. she shakes and bashes all of her toys already and really enjoys rhyme time and music of all kinds, so i think she will really appreciate a few things like these.

and there will be s.

Source: rstyle.me via Kaitlin on Pinterest

everyone who knows me knows that i love a little bit of baby style. in fact, i’m kind of obsessed with pinning gorgeous dresses/tops/jeans/shoes/anything to my baby d board on pinterest. and i have absolutely no restraint when it comes to baby clothes. we had BETTER have a girl the next time around, otherwise there are going to be many lonely, depressed articles of clothes that haven’t been worn in s’s nursery. so here is my inspiration for baby birthday style. (ok, so it’s more than inspiration. i bought it today but shhhhhh! don’t tell paul! ps. i want EVERYTHING from the beatrix potter range at baby gap right now. check it out here.)

i’ll keep you updated as the plans progress!

new year, new me!

ugh, i hate that phrase. you all know how i feel about new year’s resolutions (as evidenced here). but i wanted to let you all know that i’m sticking to my word and have rejoined weight watchers! the other day i was having a particularly crappy day and decided, instead of sitting around wondering why God blessed me with german genes, that i’d bite the bullet and sign up. so i cancelled our sky subscription service (shock!!!) and signed up for ww. don’t worry!!! i won’t bang on about my weight every day between now and the day i hit my goal (because i WILL, damn it!), but i wanted to hold myself accountable in a way by telling you all about it. as if paying to lose weight isn’t enough, right?

so wish me luck! i’m excited to see a lot less of myself soon. i’m sure you are, too.

bam. accountability.