becoming a stay at home mom

i’ve never been very good at being productive at home. at work, i was really productive all the time, and had no problem emptying bins, cleaning toilets, shutting down the bar, and generally tidying all day long. i was a damn hard worker, in fact. being at home was a different story. when i was pregnant, i had the perfect excuse for sitting on my bum all day long and not doing a damn thing. when s was born, i didn’t have much of a chance to do anything either…i was scared i’d break her if i stopped cuddling her, or that she would stop breathing when i put her down to do something else.

ok, so i still check that she’s breathing about every five minutes, but that’s miles better than every five seconds. i can even leave the bathroom to pee. sometimes. but the best development has been her increased independence. she loves to chill on the floor in her play gym, and can even amuse herself with her hands in the bouncer. so, no more slacker mommy. today i did three loads of laundry, washed and dried dishes, vacuumed and mopped the kitchen, gave s a bath after an explosive poo (yay, you know you wish you were me), and started to tidy up s’s room (which, instead of the gorgeous nursery we thought it would be when she was born has become a dumping ground for gifts, boxes, and general crap we don’t use anymore/yet). i even did this:

seriously, i need a hobby.

mondays with the vicar: may 28

my mother (s’s gram) thought it might be a good idea for us to document various adventures taken on p’s day off. usually the poor guy is so strung out by monday that we just have to get out of town, resulting in cool experiences that we wouldn’t have had otherwise.

(note: mondays with the vicar isn’t necessarily an accurate title, since p isn’t actually a ‘vicar’ per se…but since everyone in this country thinks every ordained person is a vicar, that’s how we tend to describe him. he hates it.)

today was BEAUTIFUL, so we decided to get the f out of cambridge and enjoy the sun.

the plan was to get up and out early, but my snoring husband had other ideas. 😉 by the time we were up and at em, most of the morning was over. we decided on anglesey abbey, a local country house and estate about fifteen minutes down the road. s is such a good little passenger in the car now…at first i was too scared and paranoid to leave her in the back seat alone, but now she only screams if she spits her dummy out and even then can usually suck her fingers until she’s happy again.

last week we decided to drive an hour down the a14 to bury st edmunds and forgot the carseat adaptors for the stroller (which resulted in a huge fight and an unnecessary purchase of a cheap baby carrier, since no one sells icandy accessories ANYWHERE). this time, we vowed to be more prepared. we brought every single possible mode of transport we could think of and shoved it all into the car. s was a happy baby in her bassinet at the gardens and stayed out of the sun the whole time since i freak out if a single ray of sunshine touches her body for half a second.

p and s at anglesey abbey gardens

i overcame my irrational fear and we let her out for a few minutes when we were eating lunch so she could look up at the trees. her face was a picture; i wish i had taken one! she gawked for a full five minutes before getting bored, and i consider that a huge success. i fed her while we sat in the shade, watching the planes taking off from cambridge airport.

here’s cheeky chops!

getting braver with the bebe au lait nursing cover!

after the abbey, we came back into town to mooch. mooching is a favorite pasttime of our family, and usually results in the buying of tons of crap we don’t need. today wasn’t an exception…we came home with a basket for s’s growing collection of toys, a fan (it’s still freaking hot), and a george foreman grill. but not before a stop at starbucks, my new favorite nursing spot. usually the comfy chairs are occupied by businessmen who haven’t purchased anything in the last three hours, so we sit at the table next to them and give them the stinkeye until they feel pressured to move. it didn’t work today. oh well…it gave me a chance to practice some more public nursing, something that still stresses me out. i’m just waiting for someone to come up to me and tell me how inappropriate it is so i can fly off the handle at them. man, i have too much pent up rage. i need a hobby.

p’s day off usually ends in the best way: relaxing on the sofa with bad tv and each other.

my beautiful family, watching tv!

we need more days like this!

so blessed.

my beautiful baby is playing in her gym, chatting to eeyore and the butterflies and sucking her hands. she’s as happy as a clam.

so am i.

it’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day worries and stresses…especially if you’re like me: a little type a, a little psycho. am i feeding her right? is she feeling okay? am i a bad mom? how should i do everything? these questions are important, but more often than not fill my head and blind me to the really important stuff. i think i have a hell of a lot to learn from my baby.

time to lie back and stare up at the sky.

heat wave

Burning the midnight oil here, but can’t sleep because it is approximately 36896 degrees out. Ok so it’ s 65 (22ish?) but whatever, I grew up in a town where it snows six months out of the year so this is the height of summer.

The epic heat seems to be turning my beautiful baby into the demon version of herself. Like mother, like daughter, I suppose! Today we had a full on screaming fit in john lewis followed by uncontrollable crying up and down the streets of Cambridge. Yes, that was us you heard.

The heat doesn’t do much for me, either. Had a nothing fight with p about, well, nothing. Stomped around a bit, only to get hotter and crankier. Then sat and did absolutely nothing this evening. I even left the dishes in the sink. And ate two chocolate bars. The diet can start next week.

Also, I have no idea how to dress my baby. I have a hard enough time when its’s baltic out (which is 95% of the time) but I feel like s is dying in her black cocoon of a pushchair and in her Moses basket at night. Any suggestions? Poor thing has a stupid mommy.

Proof that even a bad day isn’t all bad:


New talent! Harder habit to break…yes I was a thumb sucker until age 7…but so damn cute!

Bedtime now. S is sucking her thumb VERY loudly (yes gram, you’d be impressed!) and p is fast asleep. Night night!

the biggest loser, baby style

i’ve decided it’s time to get off my not-preggo-anymore-but-still-four-months-pregnant booty and lose some baby weight. life as a mom is finally starting to seem normal (well, as normal as stopping to feed s every three hours and taking care of someone who depends 100% on me can feel) and i have somehow seemed to pick up the trademark mommy trait of multitasking. wow, can i multitask.

so it’s time.

i’ve lost weight with weight watchers before, with varying degrees of success. i know that my body will never be exactly the same as when i was 18, but it will feel nice knowing i’m doing something good for myself. plus, lugging the world’s heaviest pushchair around the streets of cambridge on a daily basis is some good exercise. (no, i am not running. sorry. not gonna happen.) but i’m not sure how the plan will work while bfing. does anyone have experience with this?

stay tuned for updates.

in other news: s laughed today!!! ok, so it was kind of a grunt and she was asleep, but we’re counting it. plus p felt so good to be there when it happened. our little girl is growing up so fast!

BOOBS part two


i haven’t posted much in the last few days. sometimes life just gets in the way. s and i have been having a hard time with breastfeeding lately…pretty sure i have nipple thrush, which SUCKS and makes feeding really hard. we’re working through it though, and i’ll keep you updated.

for now, here’s a list of things i wish people had told me about breastfeeding:

1. it can hurt. a lot. (see BOOBS part one for more on this!)

2. you do it all the time. in fact, sometimes you feel like all you are is a giant boob.

3. breastfeeding in public is hard. really hard. (after a few public meltdowns, i thought i’d never bf in public again…but i found bebe au lait‘s nursing cover and haven’t looked back!)

4. big boobs make breastfeeding harder. someone should write a book for us well-endowed women, because the rules don’t always apply to us!

5. people are rude. okay, so this one applies to all aspects of life, and yes i am otherwise very naïve and trusting, but it applies to boobs, too. some people will tell you that public breastfeeding has less to do with providing sustenance for your baby and more to do with your own insatiable desire to whip out your boobs and lure men into your web of lust. because i know all of us breastfeeding moms feel oh so sexy when we’re feeding. these people will tell you that you should hide in another room when feeding your baby, and that yes, this applies to your own home. or your mother-in-law’s home. purely hypothetically, of course. sorry, off soapbox now.

that said, i love being able to feed my baby. i almost feel like i’m cheating when i give s a dummy, and haven’t expressed at all yet because i feel bad giving her a bottle. i won’t come down on either side of debates like the one in last week’s issue of TIME, but i will say this: girl’s got my respect. breastfeeding is HARD.

no more boob talk for awhile, i promise. 😉